Today I’m marking and celebrating the one year anniversary of partnership with my very first client, PeerSpirit, by sharing a few lessons I’ve learned through our work together.
But first, let me introduce you to the PeerSpirit co-founders and dynamic duo, Ann Linnea and Christina Baldwin. Put simply — Ann is a tall tree and Christina is a spark plug. These two are fierce, yet gentle, brilliant, yet modest, and unbelievably grounded; when they speak, I listen.
Ann and Christina co-created PeerSpirit Circling, a model for healthy group communication, based on a sentiment that anyone who has ever sat in one too many stale, explosive, or one-sided meetings understands: I will poke my eye out if I have to sit here one more minute. Ok, so they don’t exactly say it that way; the page preceding the table of contents in Ann and Christina’s most recent book, The Circle Way, says: If we change the chairs, we can change the world. And it’s true
Always actively listen. Never patronize.
Very early on in our partnership Ann and Christina expressed a number of concerns about the implications of social media usage and promotion on society in general and for their own personal work: Are our young people losing the kinds of interpersonal skills needed for face-to-face interaction? Is social media a replacement for a phone call or coffee date? What about us writers … are we obsolete? What about privacy? As a naturalist am I undermining my beliefs about the value of the natural world by asking people to sit in front of the computer to interact?
There is a social media philosophy that bubbles just under the surface with an aggression screaming, “GET ON THE BUS OR GET OUT OF THE WAY!” And another that rolls its eyes at concern about potential loss of interpersonal skills. Ann and Christina’s concerns were too nuanced and thoughtful for that kind of dismissal; in fact, their honesty gave me room to consider a few concerns I hold too.
And so together we journey — always listening and never patronizing one another. The deeper we go in our work together, the more I recognize just how important this posture is in our partnership. I’m beginning to understand why the stakes feel so high for my baby-boomer partners; this is the very evolution of human communication, we’re talking about here. Is it worth the kind of care our partnership demands? Damn straight.
Be fearless. Be grateful.
We often joke about how we’re all standing near the edge of the Grand Canyon. I’ve followed a little footpath about twenty feet down into the canyon. Christina’s about a foot from the edge and Ann’s barely within shouting distance. I’m giving direction from below, and they’re inching toward the edge. It is no small thing for Ann and Christina that have a social media presence.
In just the last few months, I’ve created and managed a small social media presence for Ann to promote her book, Keepers of the Trees, and professionally network. She now proudly sports a red ribbon with gold trim — the inscription: Brit’s Favorite Luddite. I may be guiding Ann as she tenuously eases toward Facebook, but the fearlessness in her forward inching is a signpost I look to in uncertain moments. I honor Ann’s fearless contribution — and note that the sector in which I work could use more of these kinds intentional interactions.
Ask: Is there deeper work for us to do together?
I think of the three of us as the Coalition of the Willing, as in we keep asking one another “is there deeper work for us to do together?” and we keep answering, “yes”. I offer my services because there is a need and I have the skill, but this is the essence question what drove me to my work in the first place. The answer isn’t yes with everyone, but it’s always a question I explore with my clients, thanks to the way Ann and Christina modeled the asking for me.
So, what’s the deeper work in this case?
Social media consulting is nothing if not intergenerational. I stumbled into social media coaching and consulting by responding to forlorn and weary pleas for help from a primarily baby-boomer population. I was a young friend and colleague who, by virtue of the time period in which I was born, donned an online intuition that generally navigates social media spaces with ease. Most of my clients are 55 and older and we often have to wade through a swamp of generational assumptions. In the case of PeerSpirit, we bumped into a sleeping giant of an opportunity — acknowledging generational misunderstandings and assumptions only exasperated by technology.
Here’s to many more anniversaries and the kinds of collaborative parnterships that bring out the best in each of us!
